12/3/2012
3:59pm
So I received a letter from EDD and they are cutting my benefit amount. Before I had enough to cover bills, gas and the flexibility to eat out every now and then. Now it is just enough for bills and gas and maybe a few cups of coffee. I am thankful for that because it covers my NEEDS, but I want to know what the plan is! There is a reason God is doing this.. it’s all part of his plan. What is the plan??
I am now more stressed because of this so I can’t think straight. I MUST be missing something.
12/5/2012
I meant to finish that post later that night, but am getting round to it just now. Interesting what today’s QT consisted of..
“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” -Hebrews 10:23-24
“You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever. So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” -Hebrews 10:33-36
So I’ve been having an extremely rough weekend. Relationship related. The EDD news was the topper.
You know, I DO believe this is all part of God’s plan and that he has something amazing in store for me, and that there’s a reason I’m going through this, but the killer is that I feel like I’M missing something. I’ve been trying my best to not be lazy while unemployed, and to turn to Him by reading the word and obeying Him. So I feel like I’m missing something! Either he must be pointing it out and I”m totally missing it, or I’m doing something wrong and don’t know it.
Maybe THAT is my problem. That I feel like I have to DO something. This was how the protestant reformation began with Martin Luther. He realized it’s by FAITH ALONE, not good works, that we get to heaven. And that faith is received by God’s favor, Grace, not by what we do. It’s not something we achieve. Good works is just a result, a response, that comes from having faith.
But honestly, that’s what I feel l’m doing. I’m not trying to be good because I want a result, I’m trying to be good, BECAUSE I have faith, and because I want to be good. But obviously… it looks like my faith has a time limit. It seems like the bible is speaking directly to me. After all, I did read today, “ Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” I have myself down as a pretty patient person. I guess God is showing me I’m not patient enough.
The Prayer Diary 